OH. MY. GOD.

From a brand-new Hawker tipster!

From The Baltimore Sun:

"Decomposed body found in Jones Falls
A badly decomposed body was found yesterday afternoon in the Jones Falls near Chestnut Avenue in Hampden and was taken to the state medical examiner's office for an autopsy and possible identification, police said."

Leaving a body to rot violates the very essence of humanity. I am saddened to report this news.

My Favorite Local Celebrity to Stalk Pulls Up Stakes

In case you've been living under a rock this morning and haven't been reading all the other blogs that have reported this, here's some news for you:

(first reported by Secret Crush Society singer and Hampdenite Lisa Harbin!)

So The Wire has wrapped on shooting its final season. What this means for Hampden residents is that casual strolls through Clipper Mill under the pretense of stopping by Artifact Coffee (which is gone, as previously reported by Hawker,) with the real purpose being to see if you can garner a Dominic West sighting at the pool are a thing of the past.

To make it offical, McNulty's having a yard sale. I wish it was actually a TRUE McNulty yard sale, but then it would most likely held along Falls Road where it passes under I-83 & all you'd be able to buy would be broken whiskey bottles. Instead, here's the deets:

McNulty's Yard Sale
Saturday, September 1sts
12-2 p.m.
2031 Clipper Park Road
(in the garage)

Proceeds go to charity, and I don't care if Clipper Mill is Woodberry to some people. Hawker's reportin' this.

NHBA: Fleckenstein Gallery

Fleckenstein Gallery will be moving to Hampden in November. Their focus is local and regional artists in all media, and they also do custom framing. They're going to 3316 Keswick Road, just south of Habitat for Humanity.

Does this make Hampden the new Towson?

Update on the Suckiness of Marriage

Apparently, my source for the defaced "Marriage sucks!" billboard near 34th & Chestnut decided she didn't want folks to see her picture of a billboard. Hm.

And The Shank called me out on it. They are an army of more than one, and as such, they gots a photo. Check it out.

LOADS o'posts to come today to keep you company 'til your day job frees you from its chains.

NHBA: Raw Sugar Part Deux

Ok. So maybe this is really a BSBMTHBPWAHBBKTOBSNA. (A prize to whoever can figure out THAT acronym.)

A Hawker tipster advises that Raw Sugar is actually going to combine with EIEIO.

It looks like the original owners of Raw Sugar sold it to their manager who's going to partner with EIEIO (which I guess will no longer be a consignment shop.)

This tipster looks forward to the soon-to-be Sugar hat trick on The Avenue: Sugar, Raw Sugar and In Watermelon Sugar. Oh, the possibilities for comedy via confusion are endless!

Crime Blotter

Yikes. A Hawker tipster alerted me to a recent and highly disturbing robbery in Hampden within the last few days. There's a certain house for rent in our hood, and folks figured that the house was sitting empty. Someone called for a pizza delivery to the rental home's address. When the pizza delivery guy arrived, he was jumped and robbed.

Hawker sends her best to the pizza guy, and asks everyone to stop hating on each other. Hawker's fed up with all you hate-uhs.

Single People Fight Back!

Driving to work this morning after a stop at New System Bakery (Is there anything their donuts can't do?) I saw a defaced billboard.

Go north on Chestnut and just before 36th at Wellington, and behold!

Suck it marriage!

NHBA: Raw Sugar

Raw Sugar (an upscale clothing store for infants and children) is moving to Hampden. They had a blow-out closing sale at their Belvedere Square location a few weeks and apparently plan to open on The Avenue in October.

Hampden Needs You!

HampdenFest needs volunteers!

No offense to HonFest--which I know is a great boon to Hampden--but HampdenFest has a totally different vibe and somehow feels more Hawker's speed.

If you are a) responsible and b) want to help what is one of Hawker's highlights of the year, contact Rachel.

And tell her Hawker sent ya!

Feed on this, lj bloggers.

Hawker is syndicated for lj!

Special thanks go to a certain curly haired Hampdenite who likes to test drive convertibles in her spare time.

Go HERE to add Hawker to your friends list if you're an lj user.

Just be warned that doing this will allow Hawker to temporarily dominate your friends page, as all of Hawker's previous entries will load at once.

Does The Sun Love or Hate Hampden? You make the call.

I don't get the Baltimore Sun, except on Sundays, and I was out of the country for much of the month, so I missed out on the Sun's August Hampden news-o-rama.

1. FINALLY! Someone else comments on Common Ground's early closing hours. I actually drove to The Evergreen last night to get coffee at 5:15 p.m. I can't be the only Hampdenite who often likes an evening jolt of caffeine and the ambiance of an indie coffee shop to go along with it.

2. Apparently, Hampden is Baltimore's bloggiest!

3. Hampden is--and let me quote Sun reporter Elizabeth Large here--"not known for its tastefulness."

4. Hipsters sporting staches! Hide your virgins!
Apparently, Hampden is the epicenter of the "mustache trend." Look amongst us for "hipsters sporting facial hair - often riding mopeds - frequent bars such as Rocket to Venus and Holy Frijoles."

5. Oh, and in case you were unclear on The Sun's opinion of Hampden, let me quote reporter Molly O'Donnell's friend Caroline, "It's like we're in our living room, but someone's actually cooking in the kitchen." And Hon Bar, which I hold has the most underrated bar staff in Hampden, is nicknamed "nappy time." Oh, and apparently Golden West is a drag because they don't let you use your cell phone. How dare they force Molly to actually talk to her friend on a Saturday night? The nerve!

Property-a-go-go

As everyone knows, the train store on Falls Road, which seemed like it would be a permanent part of Hampden, closed recently. Apparently the owner fell ill and was unable to keep it going. Something about that place charmed me, even though my personal model train needs are few and far between.

When it closed, rumors of what was coming next abounded. Word of a David's expansion was spread like wildfire, but as a new sign now announces: Baltimorebay is coming soon.

What to say. . . well, let's just speculate on other property that's vacant and talk about what Hampden really needs. The discount dry cleaner on Falls & 41st closed recently, and the old salon there is empty too, so that building is for lease. And just spitting distance away, there's 4029 Falls Road that's for sale. It's an odd place, the former home of an antiques shop and it appears to be fully renovated. The question is at $624,900, what is the right fit there? And what combo of businesses would thrive at that corner?

R2V Expands its Empire

The kitchen at Rocket to Venus is indeed closed through Saturday, and the truth is that contrary to rumor there was NO health code violation! R2V is remodeling the kitchen (a kind of expansion by maximizing existing space.) Apparently, their teeny kitchen could barely handle the food service they were providing and now. . . they're adding outdoor seating--YEAR-ROUND outdoor seating with fancy heat lamps! They're hopeful that all will be ready on Sunday, but it make take a few more days to complete all the work.

Good news though, drunkies! R2V will let you order Joe Squared pizza for delivery through the weekend (and they have menus behind the bar.) Plus the sweet, handmade sign at the front door says something I've never seen before in restaurant: "Outside Food Welcome!"

Hawker Rises

Hawker readers, I've let you down. I disappeared without a peep for weeks.

I offer no excuses, just an apology and a promise that I won't do it again. Let me buy you flowers, take you to a nice dinner and soothe you with my vows to change.

Here's the future of Hawker:

--One post each weekday (minimum)
--Guest columnists when I vacate

There's always the Hampden Hollerer who could step up. (The Hampden Hollerer is the gossip source where the preferred form of communication is leaning out the window and yelling to passing cars. So if you see a smiling woman in a slip leaning out of a second-story window as you drive through one particular alley of Hampden, and she yells down to you "KITCHEN AT ROCKET TO VENUS IS CLOSED THROUGH SATURDAY!" you'll know who you've encountered.)

A real Hawker update to come later. I PROMISE, sweetie!